my face looks like shit now. LIKE SHIT!
went for facial just now ard my area and i cld feel the tears welling up in my eyes every now and then as the aunty used EVERYstrength in effort to squeeze out the dirt frm the pores. in the midst of e session i cldnt bear it any more, i whimpered in agony but the aunty pressed on, saying that it's for my own good. right. but wtf, i really felt like running away frm the beauty salon, leaving my belongings behind. finally the whole thing was over, and i survived e whole torment of prickling pain and excruciating pinching of my face.
but my face looks like crap now!!! *CRIES*
all the reddish obvious blotches on my skin and the swellings.. FUGLY! dont scream if u happened to c me one day, i'd shuff my fist into ur mouth haha!
sian. the condition of my skin now makes me more depressed, after when things happened.
i guess i'd have to be myself, i dunno why the fuck do i have to pretend at all.
but i have to curb myself a bit too, sigh so contradicting.
give me sign.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Why am I single?
This question was asked by my poly friend after my best friend got attached, though his actual question was:
"When will it be your turn?"
now that, is a question asked many times by ppl around me. my ans is, i dunno, for 1st thing 1st, i dont have any guy i really like now, and for the guys out there who like me or liked me before, i just couldnt be in a relationship which i know sooner or later i will hurt you.
cos i know how is it like to be hurt. cos i dont wana repeat the same mistake again.
not tt difficult to get what i mean rite.
a lot of people have been telling me that i have high expectations. . . . . . eh-hem, serioussssssssly i dont feel so myself. i just want to be w a guy whom i feel so comfortable with, who can make me happy (this is v impt cos laughing is like a daily supplement of ecstasy to me, i couldnt live without it!), who is mature and understandable..... alright i'm not gonna fill in the details of my expectations of my ideal bf. as you can see, what i ask for is generally what all girls would ask for what. as for appearance wise...... i do have my expectations but, i'm gonna be defensive about it, do YOU expect me to ACCEPT any guys - short, skinny, fat, stinky, or hairy - to be my bf? (i dont mean to offend anyone k) so stop telling me tt i have high expectations! tsk.
what about those guys who i liked, what are the outcomes of it? yeah, i'm just like those little girls who stand at one corner, peeking at e boys they like, who wouldnt dare to express their affection to them. 暗恋 is the word. i'm just too proud and shy to show them that i like em (..alright, face it shilei, u're a coward too..) some girls would flirt or express interest to the guys they like, but i'm not. in fact, i'm quite the opposite bcos i dont want tt guy to know that i like him; i would appear to be nonchalant abt his existence and would treat him indifferently but damn, my affection for him deep inside my heart is so intense than u can imagine!
i guess that's y guys tt i like are never really close with me, given my attitude to them. i mean, even if they do like me, they would also feel intimidated by my behavior that they wouldnt dare to approach me right!
but i'm trying to change alrd. i know i'm too prideful, but there are some things that are worth to put ur pride aside.. nevertheless, darn it, there's still a limit to give into it ok!! bleah
on top of that... i'm also too afraid of failures. there are times i took up courage and give it a shot but, i would withdraw at the critical last second, which at the edge i can only see the last of it. then, i feel the regrets sinking in, but it's alrd too late. what can i do?
i can only hope that the next one is better...
here, i have explained my singlehood, and i also want to declare that i am NOT gonna be attached until i find someone who i really love and vice-versa and when the situation allows (i'm fcuking broke now, i have enough troubles coming from money). dont ask me anymore on this topic, it's said n done here.
"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."
- Sex and the City
=)=)=)
"When will it be your turn?"
now that, is a question asked many times by ppl around me. my ans is, i dunno, for 1st thing 1st, i dont have any guy i really like now, and for the guys out there who like me or liked me before, i just couldnt be in a relationship which i know sooner or later i will hurt you.
cos i know how is it like to be hurt. cos i dont wana repeat the same mistake again.
not tt difficult to get what i mean rite.
a lot of people have been telling me that i have high expectations. . . . . . eh-hem, serioussssssssly i dont feel so myself. i just want to be w a guy whom i feel so comfortable with, who can make me happy (this is v impt cos laughing is like a daily supplement of ecstasy to me, i couldnt live without it!), who is mature and understandable..... alright i'm not gonna fill in the details of my expectations of my ideal bf. as you can see, what i ask for is generally what all girls would ask for what. as for appearance wise...... i do have my expectations but, i'm gonna be defensive about it, do YOU expect me to ACCEPT any guys - short, skinny, fat, stinky, or hairy - to be my bf? (i dont mean to offend anyone k) so stop telling me tt i have high expectations! tsk.
what about those guys who i liked, what are the outcomes of it? yeah, i'm just like those little girls who stand at one corner, peeking at e boys they like, who wouldnt dare to express their affection to them. 暗恋 is the word. i'm just too proud and shy to show them that i like em (..alright, face it shilei, u're a coward too..) some girls would flirt or express interest to the guys they like, but i'm not. in fact, i'm quite the opposite bcos i dont want tt guy to know that i like him; i would appear to be nonchalant abt his existence and would treat him indifferently but damn, my affection for him deep inside my heart is so intense than u can imagine!
i guess that's y guys tt i like are never really close with me, given my attitude to them. i mean, even if they do like me, they would also feel intimidated by my behavior that they wouldnt dare to approach me right!
but i'm trying to change alrd. i know i'm too prideful, but there are some things that are worth to put ur pride aside.. nevertheless, darn it, there's still a limit to give into it ok!! bleah
on top of that... i'm also too afraid of failures. there are times i took up courage and give it a shot but, i would withdraw at the critical last second, which at the edge i can only see the last of it. then, i feel the regrets sinking in, but it's alrd too late. what can i do?
i can only hope that the next one is better...
here, i have explained my singlehood, and i also want to declare that i am NOT gonna be attached until i find someone who i really love and vice-versa and when the situation allows (i'm fcuking broke now, i have enough troubles coming from money). dont ask me anymore on this topic, it's said n done here.
"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."
- Sex and the City
=)=)=)
Monday, April 05, 2010
Oprah Winfrey's View on Men
i'm too bored at work so i decided to blog on this, which i came across in my my inbox. interesting to read it time and again becos i find it so true!!
Oprah's View on Men, here it goes:
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cuteabout baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Oprah's View on Men, here it goes:
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cuteabout baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Pink Volkswagen Beetle
I was taking a ride home in the bus one night and when it stopped at the traffic junction, i saw this pink beetle beside it....................................
i wanan own this kinda car in future. like... qte a far future away zzz. but actually i like a lot of cars, like lexus (dunno wad model) and mercz (also dunno wad model) and benz. haha! but 1st i need to have driving license la!
oh my effing god.... SO PRETTY RITE???????? and it's in baby pink!
i wanan own this kinda car in future. like... qte a far future away zzz. but actually i like a lot of cars, like lexus (dunno wad model) and mercz (also dunno wad model) and benz. haha! but 1st i need to have driving license la!
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