This question was asked by my poly friend after my best friend got attached, though his actual question was:
"When will it be your turn?"
now that, is a question asked many times by ppl around me. my ans is, i dunno, for 1st thing 1st, i dont have any guy i really like now, and for the guys out there who like me or liked me before, i just couldnt be in a relationship which i know sooner or later i will hurt you.
cos i know how is it like to be hurt. cos i dont wana repeat the same mistake again.
not tt difficult to get what i mean rite.
a lot of people have been telling me that i have high expectations. . . . . . eh-hem, serioussssssssly i dont feel so myself. i just want to be w a guy whom i feel so comfortable with, who can make me happy (this is v impt cos laughing is like a daily supplement of ecstasy to me, i couldnt live without it!), who is mature and understandable..... alright i'm not gonna fill in the details of my expectations of my ideal bf. as you can see, what i ask for is generally what all girls would ask for what. as for appearance wise...... i do have my expectations but, i'm gonna be defensive about it, do YOU expect me to ACCEPT any guys - short, skinny, fat, stinky, or hairy - to be my bf? (i dont mean to offend anyone k) so stop telling me tt i have high expectations! tsk.
what about those guys who i liked, what are the outcomes of it? yeah, i'm just like those little girls who stand at one corner, peeking at e boys they like, who wouldnt dare to express their affection to them. 暗恋 is the word. i'm just too proud and shy to show them that i like em (..alright, face it shilei, u're a coward too..) some girls would flirt or express interest to the guys they like, but i'm not. in fact, i'm quite the opposite bcos i dont want tt guy to know that i like him; i would appear to be nonchalant abt his existence and would treat him indifferently but damn, my affection for him deep inside my heart is so intense than u can imagine!
i guess that's y guys tt i like are never really close with me, given my attitude to them. i mean, even if they do like me, they would also feel intimidated by my behavior that they wouldnt dare to approach me right!
but i'm trying to change alrd. i know i'm too prideful, but there are some things that are worth to put ur pride aside.. nevertheless, darn it, there's still a limit to give into it ok!! bleah
on top of that... i'm also too afraid of failures. there are times i took up courage and give it a shot but, i would withdraw at the critical last second, which at the edge i can only see the last of it. then, i feel the regrets sinking in, but it's alrd too late. what can i do?
i can only hope that the next one is better...
here, i have explained my singlehood, and i also want to declare that i am NOT gonna be attached until i find someone who i really love and vice-versa and when the situation allows (i'm fcuking broke now, i have enough troubles coming from money). dont ask me anymore on this topic, it's said n done here.
"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."
- Sex and the City
=)=)=)
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