test

tomorrow

preparing for my trip tomorrow....

my luggage too small. ARGHHH!!!

I WILL MISS SINGAPORE FOR A MONTH!! i will miss my bffs too. and my family. :( homesick ahh!!

And I'm Guilty

What's the point of going to a desirous foreign country, when you know that ur parents struggled and strived so hard to make it happen for you??

i'm so angry. so angry with myself that i had to let this happen. i'm so sad, sad that i'm going there when instead i think they're the ones who most deserve the trip. and i'm guilty, cos i can feel their heartpain as they give their portion of hard earned money to me so that i can enjoy.

the more i typed, i more i cant control my tears.
suddenly, i just dont feel like going anymore.

Pinky Pink

HEY YO!!!

i've finished learning the dance steps from jolin's mtv. BUT excludes learning the ending part which i find it difficult to learn with the extreme twisting of ur arms. ouch!

thn at ann's hse, she taught me basic steps of salsa. i like too!! and i heard frm her that thr's social night whr the salsa dancers are gathered to dance tgt, and well i guess frm the name, socialize ard. kinda cool, eh?

she helped me paint my fingers too!! :)))

I asked her to draw this one. haha. EWWww. my thumb has a lot of deadskins closeup. ugly!

and, on top of tt, we baked apple crumble!

wad can i say? MAMA MIA!!! will bake it myself next time!!

I know I love dancing

蔡依林 Jolin Tsai- 美人计

i'm learning the dance in this mtv now. haha i'm too free!! plus i like her dance moves inside. Vogueing!!! all the complicated hands movements. i missed dancing :( def will attend lessons once i'm available!!

had stopped dancing ever since i graduated in sec sch, and before that my life is always about dancing. because of this interest, i neglected my studies and my grandma kinda disapprove me spending most of my time dancing, instead of studying. now tt i've stopped dancing, i can only enjoy the times when i go to the dance floor and rock it. even dancing on the dance flr cldnt satisfy my crave to work my body out (esp when i'm drunk/tipsy/high) when i'm not clubbing, i confessed that often i found myself either daydreaming that i'm attending dance performances or practicing some dance moves at home. sigh. i really cannot live my life w/o listening to music and dancing!!!!

i've decided. once i'm available, i want to learn vogueing, street jazz or salsa. time to find someone to join me!!!

FLAT BROKE

i feel so pathetic and miserable ever as i look at my account summary; i've nv been so poor in my life. and yet, thr are so many things tt i didnt have and need (not want) to buy that are in unaffordable range, which most people wld even think it's affordable to them. i feel like crying.

the rate of money going out is so much faster and easier than it going in. i guess most wld, no doubt, agree with this. i've been randomly working, so far the salary tt i earned is only enough for my daily expenses. the amount of my pocket money helps far less than my earnings, what can i do? i rather depend on myself.

just days ago my fren agreed to lend some money to me, and i feel so grateful to him. i didnt know that i wld need to borrow some money until i'm left with no alternatives. thank u god, now i got more debt to clear. i forseen myself walking on a long long path filled with thorns prickling me until the debt is paid off. i'm prepared for more sufferings to come.

on a brighter note, at least i've experienced how being poor is like. when i begin to earn a real income, i'll keep this lesson in mind from spending extravagantly in future.


p.s. to friends, i'm super sensitive now. pls DONT ever complain to my face tt u're broke/poor becos i believe u're nv as broke/poor as me and go check the dictionary for these words in case u dont undst wad they really mean.

Mind your words, Watch your mouth

but u cant control that, isnt it? tt's other ppl's mouth which they can say whatever they want to. and instead of telling and reminding them, i give up and bite my lips shut. however, i wonder what i shld do in future in the long run.

what goes around comes around, your action directly reflects on your criticism on others before. it's so zzzzz. oh wells, at least i know abt whom now.

SIM Bash Party @ supperclub

YES. i know i'm not a SIM student. and YES, i shld be doing assignmt at home but OH WELLS, with the invitation (frm sueann) in my face and of my creeping temptation to take a break from studying, i dont mind partying and have some fun! OH u know i cant resist to be part of the FUN..

so here goes the night last saturday:

the clique

pool of alcohol shaun threw up (nt vomit)

the drunkards



i was wearing flats and the whole club is so crowded that throughout the entire night, my feet got trodded by alot of ppl esp girls with heels. THAT, inclusive sueann's heels. oh my god...... GODDAMN PAIN LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sobs. at one point i really felt like throwing my temper and jus walk out of the club. well, luckily i didnt. cos i think if i throw my temper ppl will jus think tt i'm high/tipsy/drunk. zzzz. 

presenting you my feet, with all the bruises and dirt:

sigh... mayb i wont wear flats to club anymore...

Rene Furterer Shampoo for Thinning Hair

i wonder how many ppl i know has the same problem as me?

it all started like this. i started to have insomnia a few months ago, and my diet hasnt been very healthy. i didnt exercise alot too, and when i exercise, i swim, which is bad for my hair. so thn i noticed that my hair dropped more than usual, and it has continued for weeks. it didnt help tt i feel so depress, even now, that the stress accumulates. my scalp itch and is flaky too, and my hair stylist told me that i've been using the wrong shampoo. THERE. tt's one major source for unhealthy scalp. he even told me something which i think i ought to share with u guys:

1) shampoo is for your scalp, not for the hair. especially in such a weather in singapore, u gotta pick the right shampoo for ur scalp. he also mentioned that conditioner is for your hair, so yep, this is the concept.


2) there r 4 major brands of shampoo in s'pore which do all the extensive advertisements you can see on TV. Dove, Pantene, Silkpro and..... i forgot haha. i think is sunsilk. these are the brands he condemned as the content of these shampoos are not suitable to use under s'pore's humid weather. adds humidity to ur hair, he says. before i hear this, however, my dad alrd told me not to "believe" in advertisements, becos only poor-selling products need to do advertisements, which is very true. it is like famous eateries donnid to promote how delicious their food is becos their reputation is alrd established.

and.. what else? i forgot. stm la. so anws ppl, PICK ur choice of SHAMPOO carefully!!! (btw above is his opinion, NOT MINE!)

ok, so after hearing what he said and undst the condition of my scalp, i was DESPERATE to get new shampoo that suits me. i went online to search for it and after looking at the reviews, i bought this:

Rene Furterer Shampoo for Thinning Hair

can u see the beady green particles inside? i always like to squeeze em when i'm washing my hair haha

yep! my honest opinions are: doesnt help much on preventing hair loss, but it did makes my hair looks healtheir and itchiness and flaky no more!!! =D however, i wont continue to use this shampoo la. doesnt sound as gd as i saw frm e reviews. AND its so ex for such a small bottle -_-

hope this entry helps a lil for friends who have thinning hair like me!! ;)

RE: to zhiyi

WEBSITE FOR THE BROWNIE RECIPE:

http://happyhomebaking.blogspot.com/2007/07/fun-with-chocolates.html

haha. i oso dunno if she'll look into my blog not. cldnt paste this website to my tagboard so i had to create this post specially for her. anyone who's interested in baking nice brownies could look into this website too!! ;)

Oh United States of America!

hello peeps! i hope u have get used to my infrequent updates of my blog now. hehe. hard to kick off the habit of being lazy!!!

one more month to USA.
and so many things and so much $$ to prepare!!!

for those of u who still havent heard abt it, i'm going thr to complete my studies and am gonna graduate thr as well. the state i'll be gg is Oklahoma. nv heard of it? so do i, haha. actl, i rather not go thr and spend all these unnecessary money. i mean, why cant we just complete our studies here?? tsk...

did my VISA (approved alrd) and bought my air tix. the major matters are settled, left with the nitty gritty things to be done, like eg shopping for winter stuff!!!! boy.. i'll be officially broke after i come back frm US, this is so worrying. OH scrap tt, i'm alrd very broke even before i'm gg over to US. alot envy me for it, but if u think abt the money tt i spilled over and owe, mayb they'd like to reconsider it. few of my frens had been very nice to offer me help on the money issues, but i rejected them. oh wells, i'm alrd on debt, so i guess the more i shldnt borrow frm frens. but i'm glad they offered. loves!

have tried to borrow whatever winter stuff i can borrow. feel so sad tt i cldnt choose wad to wear for my trip but heck man, this is not up for me to choose!!! think shilei think! u're alrd fortunate to have ppl lending you clothes so that u wont spend tt extra $!

i wana thank my neighbor yiting for lending her sweaters to me. weee!!! and my dad's fren too, for the down jacket. if u guys have any winter stuff tt u dont mind lending to me, pls lemme know ok!!! i'll be immensely grateful to u :))))

on a brighter note, i'm gonna experience alot of first times in my life!!
for my first time in my life i gotta meet snow in real life!!! lol. not in my dreams, not on the screen, but SNOW, right in front of my eyes, feeling it melting right on my fingers and lastly, playing snowball fight!!!

for the first time of my life, i'm gonna spend a traditional xmas!! not like celebrating xmas in sg, counting down with the spray of fake snow with thousands of ppl in the city, and then attending xmas parties. i'm gonna have a family xmas dinner (not w my family tho, with my fren's family who's kind enough to provide us a stay after our sch's over) and i hope thr's turkey and a real xmas tree standing in the room haha. thn we'll gonna exchange presents :)) doesnt sounds exciting but cos i've nv had a traditional xmas (with snow and all tt) before, i kind of like the idea and am looking forward to it!

for the first time of my life, i'll be spending my days with my frens at such a faraway country for such a long period!! gosh. i cldnt imagine tt!!!

for the first time of my life, i'll be leaving my family to live by myself for a mth.. i'm so gonna get HOMESICK!!! i think i'll cry thr lol. oh dear, i need to be strong!!!

for the first time of my life, i'll be living under harsh weather. for the N times of my life, i wish i have fats in me. tt cant be help. i must wear thick thick jackets!!!!



sigh a mth more... will ur miss me?? haha

you shldn't be THE benchmark

some lovely dessert i baked..

my second attempt baking brownies.. and this is the best i'd ever made! i used the same recipe as before, only that this time i bake with the assistance of the electric mixer, so i guessed the electric mixer helps? i'm so surprised that after a few days, it remains crusty on the surface and still taste as great. yums ♥

my hols is coming to an end, and i've done/achieve nothing much during my hols (no work cos my boss said he got nothing for me to do, cant have fun bcos i'm broke). what a pathetic period i had, but at least i spent more time with my mummy. i'd done some reflection on myself during these days too - well u'd do that if u're spending time alone - and i realized it's so wrong of me to have somebody set as benchmark and view it on other people. it's wrong and unfair.. 1st, it would look like as if i'm still not over it (in fact, i alrd have). 2nd, it would seem like as though i'm looking for a replacement (GOSH). 3rd, not everyone is the same; comparison is out of line. another point is, i should NOT limit myself with that benchmark, and i'm trying hard not to do that. agree?

sch's starting tm.. and i'm dreading it!

disappointed

some friends just make u dissapointed most of the times.
when i rmb how much i did for them in the past, and not getting it reciprocated back to me, i just feel like for fuck i fork out and give in so much to them.
mayb we shldnt be too calculative in friendships and relationships, but i feel tt it's not worth if ppl start to take you for granted.

a word of advise for myself: i shld stop being too nice to people bcos fuck, some people come to you when they need you and they'll just throw you aside when they dont need you anymore.
WE'RE NOT AN OBJECT, WE'RE HUMAN.

Weakling!!!

i was sick for a week!
A WEEK!!!!

suffered from almost every illness u can think of: fever, flu, cough, stomach flu, sore throat, headache.
throughout that week i didnt dare to go out at all; seemed to myself that i locked myself up at home for good bcos one, i could save money if i didnt go out at all (broke as usual) and two, i take my time to rest since i'm having my hols and i got no work to commit. but it felt so terrible. ugh. what's worse u get emotionally unstable when u're feeling badly sick... dunno if any of u felt this way before??

AND my birthday is coming. i dunno what to do!!!!! i'm so broke that i didnt know how to organise the celebration.... cos everything u do in sg is so ex :((( if u party, u nd to have e $$$. ARGHH. tell me what should i do??

why so emotional?

weekdays are meant for work and studies, and saturdays are intended for friends and dates.
sundays is the only day in the week when i can have all the time for myself.
but on a rare occasion during sundays, i feel so depressed and emotional..... like today.

it happened too sudden that i got caught up with this temperamental disease bcos nothing upsetting has happened to me at all. so unexpected, but i'm glad that it occurs during a sunday.. bcos i know how i wld behave in front of people with a mood like this.

i shut myself in e room for most of the time in the day watching Glee, and i dont feel like talking to anybody - not my mum, not my friends. and each exhaled breath feels like a silent scream.
it happened before, but that was during those depressing periods. and it's def not pms, i know it myself. then why????


girls....................................... or issit just me?

Despicable Me

Here i am again!!!
this simply shows how free i am now. HAHA!

for those people who have yet to watch despicable me.. WATCH IT!! it's hilarious and cute!!! i'm deeply in love with the yellow creatures now. SO EFFING ADORABLE LA! the way they talk, behave and their expressions. omg. if thr's a figuring i wld buy em!! best if they have it in bolsters, i'll feel so happy hugging them to sleep!!! hahahaha. (tt's how crazy my crush for them) =P

hehehehe!! they look dumb la.. but i just find it cute!

anws, assignments are successfully cancelled!!! so yahooooooo~ here comes my holidays! =D

along these 9988776 days

blahblahblah...
it's been like 9988776 days since i updated my blog. i know i know... but i've been either very busy or very lazy!!! haha

bcos of the prolonged period of the emptiness of e blog, i'm in a lost of whr to start for the fresh entry. let's just start with the most recent updates!

sat, 2 weeks ago - ann asked me to join her colleagues for laserquest at CDANS! i still rmb vividly the 1st time i went there. it was i think 2 years ago? when i just joined CPF and they had these inter-department activities. since i was newbie, i decided to be proactive! but i didnt really fare well back then, i suck at aiming at the enemies and suck at defending myself as well!!

but it was a nice game tt day!! even tho i dunno most of her colleagues thr, but they're fun! and we're the top team yo! got the highest score of shooting at other teams! dont play play hor! the game ended off with a small fumble: i freaking fell down and injured myself!! the other team members got freaked out but i was fine la, didnt cry or made a fuss and i continued playing!! haha.

the bruises after the clumsy fell down:

look!! i even got a heart-shape look alike bruise! lmao

terribly painful when i wash them with water. and the pain last for weeks!! arghhh. results of wearing non-friction covered shoes la!

in return, i invited sueann along to the event of the re-opening of cafe del mar! i bet we're suppose to have an enjoyable time there but bcos we rch thr way too late, free flow drinks and food is over and so are the other entertainments such as tattoos and tarot reading! wad a pity la!

:)))))

saw rozz and shan wee from 98.7fm thr too. SHAN WEE IS SO CUTE!!!!!!! omg. so tall and stunning eyes. wee-weet~ wonder is he's attached now?? haha... i wonder onli ok.. WONDER. and rozz still look as cool.

went to sing k after tt at peace center. CHEAP! shall go thr again!

sat, 3 weeks ago- zouk with stef and joel's friends. crazy night!

if u guys notice my fb status, tt was the night where the guys have some issue with the bouncers thr. hate the bouncers at zouk!!!

anws, jus in case u're wondering y i have the time n mood to blog... its becos now i'm having my study break and i MIGHT have nothing to do for the rest of the break till the next module starts!!! we're given a chance to vote against the assignments, cool! lets hope majority of my classmate vote against so that we can abolish the assignmts!! weeee!!!!



dont hope for my next update soon...haha
i'll try ok!

toothache

and how i wish a tooth fairy could save me from this torment......
but *SNAP. this is reality. only a dentist and spending huge amt of money could get me outta it.

i'm very exhausted as i'm writing this, but i jus feel like writing it out before i go to bed. these few days have a torture tt u can nv imagine, nor did i imagine tt it cld be sooooooo painful too. the pain frm the toothache, i dont really even know how to describe it. all i can say is, it caused me to suffer from throbbing headaches every now n then, it makes me lose my appetite, it makes me moody, and i dont feel like talking to anyone at all. every of my energy is drained to focus the pain that i feel so weak and tired. i even feel like skipping classes cos i could hardly concentrate. the feeling jus sucks to the core!

but i'm so glad and thankful that my fren is willing to listen to my countless complaints.. gave my advices.. consoled me and all tt. really. i cldnt believe that i'm so lucky to have her around. that's to you, Jesslyn dear. i understand that sometimes it could be a nuisance to have to listen to all these.. but she has been patient enough :) and i hope that she's willing to share her problems w me too, even though i dont give gd advices.... but i'm a good listener :)

ok i'm really am gonna turn in early now. will continue again.. gd nites ppl!

rawr!

the chiongsters r unleashed, again.

a lot of ppl named me "clubber" bcos i club a lot but do u realised one thing? clubber initates clubbing, but i dont. i club only if friends invited me along. and for the times where thr's no invitations, i can survive without clubbing for months. so........ yeah, i dont think i'm a clubber lo!

been back to clubbing almost every wk now, well cos sueann's frens invited me. oh again i must emphasize, i hardly have any friends who club frequently. haha. anws, her friends invited me again next wed and sat to club, i hope there arent any more to come bcos i'm so so broke. and for my clubber bff sueann, bet u can see tt this party animal is unleashed again! RAWR!

so looking forward to 18th of May. come baby come.. lemme embrace u in my arms!!!!






dont be so curious about my baby.
he's jus e amt i anticipate in my acc.
lol

give me a sign.

my face looks like shit now. LIKE SHIT!

went for facial just now ard my area and i cld feel the tears welling up in my eyes every now and then as the aunty used EVERYstrength in effort to squeeze out the dirt frm the pores. in the midst of e session i cldnt bear it any more, i whimpered in agony but the aunty pressed on, saying that it's for my own good. right. but wtf, i really felt like running away frm the beauty salon, leaving my belongings behind. finally the whole thing was over, and i survived e whole torment of prickling pain and excruciating pinching of my face.

but my face looks like crap now!!! *CRIES*
all the reddish obvious blotches on my skin and the swellings.. FUGLY! dont scream if u happened to c me one day, i'd shuff my fist into ur mouth haha!

sian. the condition of my skin now makes me more depressed, after when things happened.
i guess i'd have to be myself, i dunno why the fuck do i have to pretend at all.
but i have to curb myself a bit too, sigh so contradicting.
give me sign.